|megpie71 (megpie71) wrote,|
@ 2012-02-12 20:56:00
|Current music:||"Mad World", Tears for Fears|
Fanfic (FF7): Dreams
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII
Prompt: Final Fantasy VII, Sephiroth/Cloud: “The dreams in which I’m dying / Are the best I’ve ever had”
Rating: Australian M
Warnings: Violence, alluded character death
Summary: The dreams feel so real when they happen. What could he have done to make someone so determined to destroy him?
He wakes, gasping.
Another of those dreams. Again. The one where the blond boy shoved a sword through his ribs, killing him, again and again and again. Over and over. They haunted him most nights, and he'd given up trying to understand them. This was the detailed one - the one where it started with him staring up at something (he could never tell what) and being interrupted by the dark-haired one. They'd fight, of course, and he'd defeat the dark-haired man, of course. The blond would come in and pick up the dark-haired man's sword, and try to fight against him with a sword almost as large as the boy himself. Those ones ended with the boy pinned to the wall by Masamune. The dream got fuzzy - he didn't know what happened, but he'd get a sense of motion, of falling, then surrounded by green. There was the blond boy (his eyes glowing gas-flame blue) in front of him, holding something in his hands, passing it to him. The dream would skip again, to the blond facing him across a cavern and hitting him over and over with a huge sword. Another skip, and they're dancing with swords on falling ruins (he's always impressed by the blond's persistence in the dreams) and it ends with another attack, another breaking. A sense of falling, of rising, of disintegration, and he's snapping awake again.
It feels so real when it happens. The first time it happened, he was a child, just seven years old. The dream had scared him so much he woke screaming; the punishment he received from Hojo for disturbing the lab in such a fashion still features in some of the other nightmares which come back to visit from time to time. The dream still frightens him - not the battle, or the killing; those are familiar territory now - but the look of fierce hatred and determination on the face of the blond. What could he have done to make someone so determined to destroy him?
He shakes his head, trying to dislodge the remnants of the dream. As a child, wondering why someone could hate him was feasible. Now he knows with a certain cynical detachment the blond boy would be overwhelmed for choice of reasons. The war in Wutai had been the death of thousands - he'd lost count of how many he'd killed personally within the first three weeks, and nobody had ever given any thought to keeping track of the casualties of his orders. If the blond existed at all (which he was starting to doubt) his hatred could have a cause as simple as the death of a family member in an action he'd ordered.
It was useless to try and sleep again after one of those dreams. Best get up and work, instead.
The first time Sephiroth is taken on a tour of a mako reactor, he winds up throwing up. Not from the smell, although he gives that excuse to Hojo and to everyone else. No, the thing which made his gorge rise was the sudden shock of deja vu, realising the place he's dancing with blades and opponents in the dreams in which he's dying over and over again is the inner chamber of an old-style mako reactor, directly over the core.
He makes excuses not to visit reactors all that often. Being overwhelmed by the smell of too much raw mako is good for that much, at least, even if it does make Hojo more determined than ever to abolish any possible flaw, and supply him with new nightmares to supplant the old.
The new class of recruits looked promising. There was one of the cadets, a Zack Fair from Gongaga, who was the best suited recruit for the SOLDIER program since it had begun. Hojo had certainly been interested in the boy's results to the mako screening, while the cadet instructors for swordwork and hand-to-hand combat had nothing but praise for the lad. But Sephiroth couldn't help but be wary, because in the right sort of shadows, Zack Fair bore an uncanny resemblance to the dark-haired man who tried to kill him in his dreams. The hair wasn't right, and the face was too young, but the resemblance was still there.
He made a mental note to avoid Fair as much as possible. No sense in tempting the fates.
When Fair returned from Modeoheim with deep scratches in the place where the dark-haired figure from his dreams had a scar, Sephiroth found himself repressing a shudder. The change in Fair's hairstyle had him dreaming that same dream for weeks at a stretch, attacked again and again and again by this last remaining First Class SOLDIER. He changes his tactics. Maybe by befriending Fair, he'll be able to avoid the dream scenario.
But when one day Zack Fair decides to call over the friend he made on that fatal Modeoheim mission, and introduces him, all unaware, to the executioner who dances with him over swords every night, it's all he can do to stop himself from impaling the boys on Masamune's blade right then and there. He's restrained, however - a General doesn't have to notice a cadet, and it may be that this will be enough to divert the course of fate. Later, though, in the privacy of his office, recalling the glow in the eyes of the killer he dances with in his dreams, he performs a rare exercise of prerogative. Cloud Strife will never enter SOLDIER, will remain in the rifle corps, will never wield a sword in combat.
If he'd known this action would bring the youngster to Hojo's attention, would he have persevered? A question for the ages, it seems.
As he dances death with Zack above the reactor core in the Mt Nibel reactor, Sephiroth can't help but smile. At least now he knows the full story of his dream, knows what he's been afraid of for most of his life. He will defeat Zack, that much is certain, not only from dreams, but from the reality. So much has changed - the girl and her father didn't show up in his dreams, after all. Neither did the Strife woman. The fear is gone now, erased in Mother's mental embrace. And maybe, without the fear, he'll be able to defeat that annoying little blond insect as well.
Then he'll sleep, wrapped safe in Mother's arms, perchance to finally rest.
* I'm playing with the notion that Sephiroth actually did inherit some Cetra genetics via the Jenova program - and the Cetra quirk he wound up with was a bit of precognition.
* Yes, the dreams start around the time Zack is born.
* I forget where I got the prompt from.
This entry was originally posted at http://megpie71.dreamwidth.org/25102.htm