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Fic from FFVII anon kink meme.
[I'm not 100% sure this is actually one of mine - however given I have a text file which shows a save date and time of 09 MAR 2008 at 3.23PM, and the fic itself shows up as being posted on 09 MAR 2008 at 4.21pm (local), I figure it's either great minds thinking alike, or I just didn't recall posting it in the first place. If anyone cares to claim it as theirs, though, let me know and I'll take this one down.]

The anon prompt which led to this fic may well have been a troll: sick faggots. Don't you have anything else better to do with your time? Fucking fangirls.


"Zack, I doe'd thig dis was wad da doctor had id bind," Cloud said, looking sceptically at the tape his best friend (and boyfriend) was sliding into the VCR. While he wasn't certain, it looked as though the label was in Reno's handwriting, which was enough to make anyone nervous. He reached for another tissue and tried unsuccessfully to clear his head.

"Hey, he said bed rest and relaxation, no exertion. I figure I gotta do something to make your stay in bed pleasant, without catching whatever it is you two have myself, and you guys don't have anything better to do with your time. So, entertainment it is."

There was a sniff from the other figure in the bed. Sephiroth had never been ill before in his life, and he'd already promised himself that once he recovered, he was going to ensure Hojo suffered all the torments of the damned. "How is this supposed to entertain us?" he asked, sipping distastefully at the concoction Zack had mixed up for him.

"Well," Zack said, grinning even more than usual, "Reno was the one who was doing security at the Lowatt hotel when that fan convention was there."

"I seem to remember the incident," Sephiroth said. "Is he still on suspended duties?"

"Yeah. Anyway, I managed to get in touch with him, and he lent me this tape, which is supposed to be all the good bits of the fancon."

"Wadn't dat de one wid all de fangirld for SODIER?" Cloud asked.

"Yup," Zack said. "There's supposed to be a cosplay section on here, somewhere. I figure it's gotta be good for a laugh."

Sephiroth and Cloud exchanged glances. This had the potential to be bad. Very bad.

Zack, meanwhile, had managed to get the tape cued up to the correct spot, and hit play. There must have been an incompatibility between the video player he'd purchased and the one the tape was designed for (or it was enemy action from Reno, which was always an option) however, since what they were faced with wasn't the standard convention parade of costumes. Instead, the screen showed two girls kissing passionately, and wearing what appeared to be the remnants of costumes designed to look like Genesis and Sephiroth. The pair, apparently completely indifferent to the camera recording their actions, tumbled onto the bed, and proceeded to involve themselves in what appeared to be a mutually satisfactory session of cunnilingus.

A muffled noise from the bed caught Zack's attention, and he turned to see the two invalids making out with great fervour and enthusiasm (if somewhat stifled breathing on Cloud's part). "Hey, no fair guys!" he said. "Not when I can't join in!"

"Dhad's your probleb," Cloud said, stopping to blow his nose, and grinning at Zack with a certain amount of sadistic glee. "You're de one who doedd't wand to cobe down wid whad we hab." He threw the tissue into the bin placed near the bed, and returned to entertaining the General. Sephiroth, meanwhile, had taken the opportunity to remove his pyjama pants, and pick up the lube.

Zack looked at the two of them for a moment, then started skinning out of his clothing. What the hell, he thought. It looked like there was a lot more fun to be had being ill with these two than being healthy by himself.