Mmm, nice! Dee's observation that "You aren't the sort of guy who just lies back and takes it - you'd wanna be giving too" made me melt a little, and that he has a bet with JJ on Ryo's underwear cracks me up.
Have you thought about cross-posting it to 27th precinct? (Be warned that feedback tends to be sparse and spotty there - as it is across the entire fandom, IME - but still, it's not a bad place to pick up a few more readers.)
Regarding the quest for non-pathetic Ryo: try Grumpy Demon's "Fake in Love" series over at mediaminer. (First one's at http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_st.php/89117; 21 episodes; established relationship from the get-go, so Ryo's had plenty of time to learn what he's doing.) Anything by karolja. Writerzilch's Cuff Me.