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Why Do I Do This To Myself?

I've just finished doing my weekly job search. Which is depressing and sucks rocks through a straw.

It is also about 60% more complicated than it actually has to be, for a number of reasons.

Firstly, I grew up in a dysfunctional family, which means I still (even after twenty years safely away from the lot of 'em) feel the ingrained need to justify my every action, in order to ensure I don't wind up getting squashed by people and/or institutions which have power over me. (If I do not Document Everything and Justify Everything, I will inevitably wind up In The Wrong. Yes, I know this is fscked up. You don't need to tell me). In terms of job search, this translates to me carefully noting down the following:

* What my search terms were on Seek.com.au each week.
* How many jobs were on offer
* Relevant details from each of those job ads, complete with highlighting various things, such as hours of work offered, skills/experience/education required, due dates for applications, conditions and so forth.
* Which jobs I applied for and with which employers
* How I applied for them.

Okay, so far, so neurotic. Reasonable justification of choices achieved. Now this is the rest of what I do:

* Keep another record of every single job offered by Employer, Job description and date.
* Keep track of whether I received any response to the job applications I sent out, and what that response was.
* Keep statistics on the proportion of my job applications I receive responses to.
* Collate and keep statistics on the amount and type of experience employers are asking for.
* Collate and keep statistics on the types of qualifications, clearances, and personal qualities employers are asking for.
* Collate and keep statistics on whether the work being offered is permanent or temporary, and how many hours are being offered.
* Collate and keep statistics on the kinds of software employers are asking for experience with.

Part of the reason I do all of this is because my brain says "maybe there's some patterns in here we could pull out if we just had the stats; maybe if we just assembled enough information we could craft the Perfect Application and get ourselves a job!". It also says "ooh, numbers cool!" and "I like playing with data", not to mention "hey, let's hyper-focus on this useless aspect of things in order to try to convince ourselves all this pointless effort could maybe, possibly, have a purpose other than wasting our time in futile hoop-jumping".

Which is why looking for work, for me, occupies the better part of about four to five hours every Sunday. I keep records of all of this. They are updated religiously. Who knows? Maybe someday, someone will be demanding that I justify my choices in the same old way my family used to (and the way my bully of a boss in the agency responsible for administering our social security system here in Australia used to...) and I will be able to pull out five or more years of records explaining each and every single damn choice I've made all the way along my job search history, and why I made those choices.

In the mean time, I'm starting to build up a pretty good picture of what employers in Perth, Western Australia are looking for with regards to part-time administrative and office support workers. (Email me if you want the full autism-spectrum inspired brain dump).

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Current Mood: irritated irritated
Update 03 OCT 2017

So I've realised I'm in the middle of a rather nasty anhedonic episode, which means I'm not particularly feeling any motivation to do anything, which means I'm not doing things unless I absolutely have to at present, because they're things I've built so solidly into my daily routines that I feel worse if I don't do them than if I do.

Teal deer below the fold )

So yeah. Things aren't as good as they could be. But they're better than they would have been twenty years ago, so I suppose that's something...

Now, if you'll all excuse me, I'll go back to neg-stimming on Tumblr, because apparently this is my brain's preferred form of self-immolation this week.


[1] I have a two hour exclusion period on my medication for my thyroid, which means for two hours after I've taken it (and for two hours before, technically) I'm not allowed to have dairy products, calcium supplements, iron supplements or anything else which might bind to the thyroxine receptors.
[2] The end of this period is the end of the medication exclusion period, when I can technically fit in breakfast if I'm able to contemplate the idea of food.

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Current Mood: blah blah
Update 25 SEP 2017 - Five things make a post.

1) It's a non-teaching week this week, which means my alarm is turned most definitely off and I am catching up on sleep. It's also cold and wet and rainy, to the point where when I was starting to write up my journal this morning I inadvertently started entering the month as "June".

2) I have managed to complete the AV presentation which was driving me bats, and now I have to concentrate on getting my poetry portfolio done. Which means I have to settle down and actually get into a poetry mindspace, which is somewhat akin to having an unstructured dose of therapy. Poetry involves rummaging around in the subconscious, and the problem with doing this for me is I keep finding things in there I don't remember putting there. Like discovering the reason I'm so keen on Final Fantasy VII as a fandom is because I actually empathise strongly with Cloud Strife's memory problems (because they're rather akin to the ones I have as a result of chronic depression).

3) I've done my vote in the Marriage Equality survey, and I think Steve dropped both of them off in the post-box on Friday. I voted "yes", of course, because quite frankly I cannot for the life of me see how allowing people who aren't heterosexual to marry is going to "damage marriage". The arguments of the "No" campaign appear to be mainly based around "think of the children" (I don't have any myself, and I'm thinking of the non-heterosexual and non-gender-binary children who might want to get married when they grow up); "it's against our religion" (well, nobody's saying you have to go out and get married to anyone); "marriage is about having children" (oh, does that mean my infertile friend is damaging the institution of marriage? How about my mother, who's past the age of reproduction and still married to my father?) and so on. None of their arguments really appear to be based on anything sensible, because let's face it, we can't point to a sensible argument against extending marriage to non-heterosexual people.

(Also, on the whole "freeze peach" side of things: if anyone who is busy screaming about how it's going to result in priests being forced to perform gay weddings against their wills and against religious canon can actually point to a single case of this having occurred anywhere in the world where non-heterosexual marriage is already permitted, then I'll start paying attention to this particular argument. But until then... it's a stupid argument).

4) I have a bunch of seedlings from my mother that I picked up on Saturday - Mum buys a bunch of seedlings every year to plant out in her vegetable garden, but the vege patch isn't really all that big, so she's usually got some over. So now she's giving them to me, and I'm going to be planting them out in my vegetable garden space. If the rain ever lets up for long enough for me to get it done. I will also be surrounding them with enough snail bait to hopefully keep the troops of snails we currently have decimating everything in the garden well away for a while.

5) We have received an invitation to come over for dinner tonight from my parents. My brother, in a fit of enthusiasm (and in the grip of a high-protein diet) decided since today is a public holiday (and he thus doesn't have to go in to work) he was going to barbecue an entire beef brisket. So he went and bought himself what looks like half a cow - seriously, the thing occupied about half the width of my parents' chest freezer. So they've invited myself and Steve over to help consume the wretched thing. I may wind up being given some leftovers to take home with me, which means cottage pie for dinner some time this week.

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Current Mood: cold cold
Update - 18 SEP 2017

There's lots of things I could be talking about here. I'm going to talk about the plants I've purchased for the garden.

Gardening under the fold )

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Current Mood: busy busy
Clearing Out Books

This week has been a slightly better week than last week. Not heaps better, mostly because the two topics being covered in my two university units are an unfortunate conjunction which means I'm wading into uncomfortable psychological waters. On the one hand, my communications unit, Culture to Cultures, is currently covering the Indigenous History of the region, which means I'm dealing with a lot of racism which appears to me to be based largely on envy, viciousness, and free-floating stupidity (and the really depressing part is it's still going even today... *sigh*). The paladin part of my brain, the part which gets annoyed at unfairness and stupidity, and wants to ride out on a crusade to Fix The World (or at least stop me being so irritated by it), is getting twitchy. On the other hand, my writing unit, Introduction to Creative Writing, is dealing with poetry - which means I'm dipping into my subconscious and discovering things even I wasn't aware of - and not all of this is pleasant.

So there's that side of things. Thanks be to the gods our tutor for Creative Writing is placing a stipulation that we have to supply three poems, and two of them have to be from highly structured formats (which changes the whole game from "the psychological exploration inherent in finding your voice" to "the intellectual puzzle of fitting your idea into the right combination of lines, stanzas, words and metre". Gods know I'm far more comfortable with the latter than the former. I mean, yeah, sure being a writer means being vulnerable, and putting your Self on display. But I'd rather at least be picking and choosing the bits of Self I'm putting on display such that "underbelly" and "key shatter points" are not among them. Call it a reaction against too many years of bullying.

But studying poetry has made me want to read my old favourites, so I'm going searching for my Norton Anthology of Poetry again. Problem is, I don't know which of the various boxes of books in the storeroom it's packed in. So I'm having to unpack boxes of books again. Got one down off the shelf last night, and discovered it wasn't the one (I wasn't expecting it to be - this was a box sealed back in 2011, two moves ago). What I did discover were the last two volumes of the Belgariad (so I'll probably be re-reading that some time soon) as well as the whole Malloreon, Belgarath the Sorceror, and Polgara the Sorceress. Fortunately for me, I've cleared off my "farewell re-read" shelves recently (got rid of everything which has been sitting there for a year waiting for me to give it the farewell re-read, on the grounds of if I haven't done it by now, I ain't a-gonna do it), so there's space for the few books from this box that I might be interested in re-reading to be unpacked onto it, and I'll see about going through them over the next twelve months or so. The rest can go to one of the various op-shops around the area, once the donation bag (which is currently full of the last lot to be donated) is emptied out again.

As a bonus, the space in the storeroom the box used to be occupying is now available for something else to move into, which means there's the option of shuffling things around in the store-room so I can find the box wherein my Norton Anthology of Poetry resides, and retrieve it!

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Current Mood: calm calm
So It's Been A Bad Week

This week has been a Bad Week. I have had my jerk!brain playing up, and this has not been helped by being kept relatively low on decent sleep as the result of the physical problems mentioned earlier this week (did you know if rolling over in bed causes enough pain, you can't actually sleep through it? No? Neither did I until about Sunday. Since when I have had plenty of opportunity to learn). Let's put it this way: a week where I wind up in tears because I'm thinking about committing suicide via self-immolation in front of a Centrelink office, and then I'm in tears because I know I won't do it (and the message my brain is giving me about this particular realisation is not "good survival thinking, congratulations!" but rather "well, aren't you pathetically useless, then? Can't even get dying right. *dismissive snort*"), is not going to be a good week even if there's a shock lottery win involved in the middle of things.

Topics I am therefore avoiding like the plague at present include: Australian welfare policy 1990 - present; Australian politics 1990 - present; Australian industrial relations; US politics (in all its glory and convulsive mess); sports of any kind; and anything else where I'm likely to be encountering the wonderful human tendency to take things from Bad to Worse, and then repeat the cycle indefinitely. Particularly when this is combined with the equally gorgeous tendency which appears to be spreading of late for people to have No Middle Gears - either full speed ahead, or full speed reverse, but nothing in between those two extremes. Subtlety, complexity, nuance? Wot dat?

Needless to say such things are Not Good For Me at present.

If anyone finds a black materia sitting around, could they please forward it on to me? I have a list of targets which is only growing.

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Current Mood: cranky cranky
Dear Body

Dear Neck and Right Shoulder muscles,

Thank you so much for showing me just how often I toss and turn during the night. I would have appreciated learning this by a different means, however. The bit where you decided to lock up entirely and make any shifting on the bed into an exercise in almost literally screaming agony wasn't really necessary. Neither was the bit where eventually making any change required me to wake up for long enough to physically sit up, rather than roll over. The way you're locked up at present, to the point where sitting with my head upright is a constant throb, and where I can turn my head in the horizontal plane (left to right) about forty-five degrees, and in the vertical plane (side to side) about twenty degrees is just over-egging the pudding, quite honestly. So was making the brushing and combing of my hair into an exercise in agony earlier today. So, whatever it was I did to make you feel this way, I truly regret it, and I will see about not doing it ever again, once I can actually figure out what it was.

Now could you kindly unlock enough to allow me to perform those tasks as are required for the day's routine, pleasethankyou?

Yours in agony,

Meg

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Current Mood: sore sore
A Sort of Apology.

I feel I owe everyone who's read anything I've written for the past week or so a rather profound and massive apology. Unfortunately, the best you're getting at the moment is an explanation.

Lengthy stuff under fold )

So, apologies for the rather frequent brainos I've been having over the past week. I will try to do better, but first I need to get my brain back...

This entry was originally posted at http://megpie71.dreamwidth.org/107530.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Current Mood: stressed stressed
Meditations on the Past Week or So

Am I odd because I tend to see things like the Damore memo (the "Google manifesto", the thing which got James Damore sacked from Google for creating an unfriendly work environment) and the Charlotteville terrorism as being manifestations of the same principle?

The principle being "The only Real Human Beings are white men".

As a woman (and a person with a disability) I tend to find this somewhat frightening. I find it more frightening when people treat all of this as some kind of intellectual exercise, rather than the very real attempt at dehumanisation, at objectification and at rationalisation for actual violence it is. As a woman who would have had to fight to have her very humanity recognised a century ago, I find this reversion to a perceived historical mean to be deeply frightening. I can't imagine how upsetting it must be for people of colour in the USA, and for indigenous people here in Australia to be seeing this.

We need to speak up. We need to speak out. We need to oppose this principle in all its manifestations - in the supposedly "civil" ones like the Damore "memo" (query: how "civil" is a multiple page ramble which boils down to "I am not willing to behave in a respectful way toward a large number of my co-workers and managers because I don't think they're Real Human Beings like me, and I strongly believe I shouldn't have to work alongside them"?); in the virulently obvious ones like the Charlotteville march. In all its manifestations, in every space (including the police forces, the public service, the private sector and the rhetoric of our politicians) we need to oppose this principle, because we have seen what happens when it is allowed to run free. We have seen it in so many different circumstances - in the extermination camps of Germany; in the slavery of the American South; in the so-called "off-shore processing" camps on Nauru and Manus Island; in the Intervention; in the massacres down through the ages; in the Trail of Tears; in all the little slings and arrows of colonialism, of racism, of sexism. We know this principle is socially toxic.

So why do we keep allowing people to spout it as though firstly, it's something new and radical, and secondly, as though it's a valid point of view?

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Current Mood: coldly furious coldly furious
Dear Brain (IV)

Dear Brain,

Yes, okay, I was stupid today. This is not a reason to haul out the Failure Tapes and play them in full 3D and surround sound in the main auditorium of the Grand Ol' Embarrassing Recollection. Even if it were a reason to do so, we know, through extensive experimentation over the last forty-six years, hideous embarrassment and post-facto regret do not serve the same function as a time machine and make stupid things never have happened.

It will, however, make me feel very inclined toward things like opening up my own skull and removing you, piece by piece, using an ice cream scoop.

Extremely sincerely,

Meg

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Current Mood: cranky cranky
Weekly Update 29 JUL 2017

Gearing up for the start of classes next week, which means this week I've been practicing getting up at 5am (mostly to find out whether I am going to be able to get up at 5am, or whether I'm going to have to shift things even earlier in the morning). Good news: I can get away with a 5am start on the mornings I have 8am classes (8am class means I need to be ready to leave the house by 7.30am). Bad news: by about October, I'm going to have to shift my wake-up time back to 4.30am, because I'm still working on extending my writing time each month, and I don't have too much to spare at present. Today I have plans to clear last semester's readings and work off my uni laptop, and make sure its battery is all charged up and ready to go, and then I'm all set to go.

So this week I'm going to get a bit political.

Ranting below the fold )

Okay, so, spleen vented. How's everyone else this week?

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Current Mood: cranky cranky
Weekly Update 22 JUL 2017

Good grief, the inter-semester break is nearly over. It's O-week for the mid-year starting students next week (good reason to stay away from campus, in my opinion) and classes start again the following Monday. Back to the grind again...

I went down to campus on Thursday for a couple of reasons. One was meeting up with the wonderful [profile] princesskessie, the other was finding out where all my classes are being held (two of my classes are starting at 8am, the other two are starting at 9am, and quite honestly, I was less than enthused about the idea of trying to find a lecture theatre I've never been to before on a crowded campus at 7.45am in the morning in the pouring rain (it's winter here, plan for rain) when I'm only running on 1 cup of tea at best. Much easier to locate the classes ahead of time, and be able to pootle along there without too much stress.

I'm lucking out this semester - so far, no stairs for any of the classes I'm involved in. Might have to go up a couple of rows in the lecture theatres, but I suspect that's going to be easy enough. Which means my cranky knees (one of them doesn't like going up stairs, the other one isn't fond of going down them) will not have anything to annoy them this semester.

The jaw is healing up on schedule - I've finished the course of penicillin the dentist gave me to avoid infection, and I've also stopped needing to take Nurofen every day. Things are still a bit owie, but not seriously enough so that I'm needing pain relief.

I got back to the baking this week - I made a spicy fruit loaf on Thursday, and I've been working my way through that, as well as the fruit cake I made back before my dental misadventures. I also have plans to make up a batch of citrus poppyseed muffins, just to see how it all works out (if I'm really enthused, I might treat 'em with the lemon syrup from a different recipe as well). It's a good way of working through some of the lemons and limes I have in the fridge (they've been on special lately, so I've been buying them on the regular, in the hope it'll prompt me to make things with them. So now I just have to make the things!). The spicy fruit loaf was a "rub in" method cake, which showed me how little strength and stamina I had in my thumbs (when rubbing in butter hurts, it's a sign I need to do it more often. Time to start looking out scone recipes, I suspect).

Aside from that, and the housework, of course, I've not really been doing much. How's everyone else?

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Current Mood: calm calm
Weekly Update 15 JUL 2017

This week I had a tooth crack on me on Wednesday. This resulted in a trip down to the local government dental clinic "emergency" sessions at 8.15 in the morning on Thursday, and a third tooth extracted. I'm sitting here with a hole in my jaw which is throbbing at me, but recovering pretty much on schedule.

Gory dental details under the fold )

I feel inclined to send the dentist a thank-you card, and the hope the rest of her day's work wasn't anywhere near as frustrating.

I'm currently on a diet of soup, pasta, and other such mush until my jaw heals up enough that attempts to chew aren't interpreted as a direct assault on and by every tooth in my head. It's not actually the socket which hurts when I chew, it's the other teeth near the socket, all of which got jostled around in the process. Clenching my jaw is not likely to happen for at least another fortnight at this rate. I'm taking nurofen (ibuprofen) on a regular basis to deal with the pain (down from every four hours on Thursday to about every six hours today, I think) and hoping things will clear up soon. I'm also on a course of antibiotics (amoxicillin) to prevent any infection, so one of those three times daily, plus rinsing 4 times a day with warm salt water.

I trust I don't need to point out this is a good reason to keep up with brushing your teeth? Trust me, this stuff isn't fun.

Hopefully I'll wind up on their maintenance schedule, and I'll be able to see about things like replacements for the three teeth which have been removed so far (as well as maybe getting a bit of work done on my right-hand incisor, which is also gradually chipping away).

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Current Mood: sore sore
Weekly Update 08 JUL 2017

So, week one of getting up at 5.30am, because I have to get into training for a 5am start during the semester (and it's easier for me to make a half-hour shift than it is to make a full hour shift) and I've managed the new wake-up time six days out of seven (I wound up sleeping in on Thursday because I'd just got too tired for a 5.30am start that morning). I'm also getting a fair bit of work done on the two main writing projects. I'm adding about 300 words a day to the large fanfic piece I'm working on, which isn't a huge amount, but is definitely better than the 0 words per day which was being added before I started working on it on a daily basis. In addition, I'm spending 5 minutes a day working on a plot outline for an original piece - I have a certain amount of stuff written for this already, and I figure what I want to do is get a workable plot outline done, so I can shove the whole thing into Scrivener and start writing the first draft. Again, there's a limit on what I can do at five minutes a day, but it's more than I was accomplishing before, when I wasn't working on it at all. More than zero words is good, in terms of progress.

The weather has been getting colder here, which means I've started baking again, mainly because putting on a cake to cook is a good way of heating up the house using the oven. The oven leaks heat like nobody's business through the base of the grill space, so having it on and the grill bay door open means the house gets warmed past the standard 1 - 2C difference from the external temperature. It can even get discernibly warm in there, if I have something like a fruitcake cooking and all the doors leading off the main area closed. Which is a bit of a plus. However it does mean we're having lots of cake sitting around needing to be eaten (I'm busy working through a boiled fruit cake I made on Sunday, and I made up a coffee cake yesterday, so that's going to be started next).

Also, for low-spoons (in terms of energy expended) cake making, I can recommend the Women's Weekly "Quick-Mix Cakes" cookbook - it's got heaps of recipes, and most of them are things like "one bowl cakes made with an electric mixer, blender or food processor", "melt and mix cakes" (melt together most ingredients in a saucepan, mix in flour and eggs once the melted stuff has cooled to the point where you're not going to cook the eggs straight away), "cake mix cakes with a twist", "rub in the butter to the flour" cakes and muffins, "beat it with a wooden spoon" mixtures and so on. All fairly simple, and there's also suggestions for decoration and recipes for icing up the back of the book. It's one of the generation of Women's Weekly cookbooks from before the point where they decided home cooking was effectively in competition with high-end restaurant chefs. It's basically arranged around the idea cooking is something you have to do on a regular basis to feed the family; it can be a bit of a chore; and quick, easy, simple recipes with a minimum of ingredients are more likely to be made than complicated show-pieces. The version of the cookbook I have is a reprint from back in 1999, which I picked up in one of those discount books pop-up stores, possibly while I was living in Canbrrra.

To be honest, I prefer these older-style cookbooks to the newer ones - mainly because at some point between about the mid-1990s and today, it seems like home cooking suddenly turned into this massive competitive wank-fest, requiring professional quality equipment and professional-level skills out of even the most everyday home cooks. Cooking for the family isn't just about getting a nutritious and/or filling meal on the plate any more, it's all about displaying your skill at plating things and creating an attractive display. Given I have all the artistic skill of a particularly isolated rock, this rather annoys me, because I cook food to be eaten, rather than looked at. The meals I cook are never going to look like the ones on the page. Meanwhile, the older cookbooks are more about a form of perfection achievable on a budget and without specialist equipment and training, which suits me far more.

Tonight we're heading out for dinner with Himself's parents, a much-delayed celebration of Himself's birthday back in early June. We're also going to count it as a slightly early 20th anniversary dinner (we officially got together at about the end of July 1997, so yeah, twenty years).

So that's where I am at the end of this week. How's everyone else?

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Current Mood: cold cold
Weekly Update 01 JUL 2017

It's a wet, grey, miserable day with lots of rain falling. Perth winter, in other words (we appear to have had a long-delayed delivery of same). As those who have been reading along for the week know, my brain has been busy trying to make me depressed (not succeeding, fortunately, but managing to irritate me a fair degree with its efforts) and we had the washing machine break down on Tuesday (repaired the same day - I have nothing but praise for the repair person).

I managed to choose my classes for next semester (after much puzzling at the whole interface, which is possibly the least intuitive thing I've run across in years - it doesn't show potential classes for more than one subject at a time, which makes it very difficult to figure out whether you actually have a potential clash). This coming semester is going to involve visiting campus a lot more often (I managed to get everything down to two days last semester - this semester it's four) and a lot more early mornings. I have a one hour lecture on Tuesday at 9am, another on Wednesday at 8am, a two hour tutorial on Thursday starting at 8am, and another two hour tutorial on Friday with a 9am start. Given I've just bumped up my writing time each day to about 45 minutes total (30 minutes on my journal, 10 minutes on fanfic, and another 5 minutes working on original stuff with the beginning of the new month) I think I'm going to have to switch my waking up time to a bit earlier in the mornings on Wednesdays and Thursdays (maybe 5am or even 4.30am, depending on how long it's going to take me to get moving) so I can make it to classes on time. I don't want to drop the writing time, because I've worked so hard at building the habit of doing this writing in the mornings first thing, but I doubt I'd get anything done if I tried to schedule it in after finishing classes. I know the way my brain works with regard to that sort of thing.

The housework is starting to settle down into a bit of a routine (up to a point - the moment there's any disruption to said routine, my brain throws a tanty and sulks, but I'll work on that later). I have a system where I alternate thirty minutes of sitting in a chair noodling around the internet with a period of getting up and doing chores, and this seems to be very effective in getting things done.

So yeah, things are going pretty good this week, actually. How's everyone else?

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Current Mood: awake awake
Dear Brain (III)

Dear Brain,

Yes, I know I've been horrible for the past couple of days. I haven't done the Right Things in the Right Order, because on top of everything else I didn't get functional early enough this morning to be able to do the dishes before the water got cut off[1]. Yes, Steve did the dishes. It wasn't because I am a Horrible Person Who Can't Do Things Right. It was because it was 8.30am, and the water was going to need to be turned off at 9, and I hadn't even started my breakfast by then, much less finished it. It wasn't in any way a critique of my ability to do the task in general, but rather a reaction to the way things were happening on this specific day.

Yes, I know there wasn't any laundry to do today. Steve did it all yesterday. Again, a reaction to one particular day, not a critique of my ability to do things ordinarily.

Yes, I decided to go shopping for groceries. Yes, the mall was noisy, and you were feeling on edge, so you decided to go straight to one overload, no waiting, and make me as cranky as all get-out. No, buying the Tim-Tams wasn't a Bad Thing to do, it was a reaction to the fact we're wanting comfort, and Tim-Tams are comfort food. Yes, I did have to spend more than $20 on fruit and vegetables, and no, this isn't going to bankrupt us. There were a lot of things which needed to be replaced (you may have noticed?) which is why this week it was a big spend. No, that isn't a critique of the fact it's been a bit over a week since we last shopped for anything. Things happen, and those things happening is not a judgement on us specifically.

Now, if you could just settle down and stop throwing a tantrum about everything under the sun, I would greatly appreciate the peace and quiet inside my skull so we can have a much-needed nap.

Sincerely,

Meg
(owner of a brain which is currently a cranky toddler)


[1] The pipes in our area are being replaced, and the water board has asked us to please shut off the water to the house between 9am and 3pm, as well as drawing any water we felt we needed before that earlier.

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Current Mood: tired tired
Update on the Washing Machine

The nice man from the washing machine repair firm found he had time enough after finishing his last job of Tuesday to come out and deal with our washing machine yesterday evening, about 4-ish. Which means we now have a working washing machine again. No idea why it wasn't working, but apparently unplugging all the leads inside the machine and plugging them all back in again seemed to do the trick, so I suspect what happened is it essentially shook something out of contact. For a nearly twenty year old machine (we got it when we were in Canbrrra, so it's heading on for "old enough to vote") it's doing quite well.

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Current Mood: calm calm
Dear Brain (II)

Dear Brain,

Yes, I know I wasn't able to do the laundry. However, I contend that having the fscking washing machine break down is an acceptable excuse for not doing it. I have called a repair person, they're coming out on Thursday, and it was Steve's decision (completely unprompted by me) to pick up all the existing laundry and wash all of it at the laundromat. I've checked: he wasn't doing it to say "You're Useless And Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself (And Also Dead)". So do you think maybe you could kindly shut the fsck up on the matter?

I swear, that icepick is starting to seem attractive. Steve is suggesting I see about taking you back to the shop for a refund.

Sincerely (and exasperatedly)

Meg

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Current Mood: exasperated exasperated
Dear Brain,

Dear Brain,

Yes, I know I haven't Done All The Things and it's coming up for 8am. However, I have achieved far more than I would have this time two weeks ago, where I wouldn't have even got out of bed by this time. So how about you stop nagging me about stupid stuff, and I'll stop wanting to remove you with an icepick, okay?

Sincerely (oh, so sincerely)

Meg

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Current Mood: irritated irritated
Weekly Update 24 JUN 2017

I made a bit of a change to my routine this week - instead of staying in bed until I was ready to wake up on my own (which was about 8am, if not later) I set an alarm to get me out of bed at 6am. Why? Mainly because I was finding the 8am wake-up time meant I felt as though I was getting nothing accomplished in the day - I was having trouble getting dressed before 10am, having trouble getting the housework completed before my spoons ran out at about 2pm, and overall just feeling as though I wasn't getting anywhere. Since the switch to a 6am wake-up, I've been feeling much more positive about the amount of stuff I'm getting accomplished in the day (same amount as previously, it has to be said - I just feel more positive about it), particularly since I'm managing to get a certain amount of it done before 10am, and most of the housework completed prior to noon. My spoons still largely run out around 2pm, but I feel better able to manage things before then.

In the wake of the (much-delayed) delivery of an actual Perth Winter this week (cold, wet, grey, windy) I got all enthused and bought a new tarpaulin to cover our clothesline. The previous one had deteriorated to a set of holes, loosely held together by blue raffia, over the course of the past twelve months (well, a bit less than that, actually - maybe about ten months all up?), and it wasn't doing the necessary job of keeping the clothesline dry during rainy days. Given we don't have decent facilities for drying clothes inside the house on rainy days (we don't own a clothes dryer, and we can't afford to have a heater running all day in order to dry things off) we need the cover provided by a tarp over the clothesline. There are other reasons for the tarp as well - our clothesline is situated under the overhang of a neighbour's jacaranda tree, and jacarandas, while being lovely trees for the most part, drop leaves in late winter, purple blossoms in late spring, and are favourites of the local bird life all year round (who drop things I don't want on my nice clean laundry at all). So we pulled off the old one yesterday and lashed down the new one, and since I bought a good quality one which is UV-stable and has a 4-year warranty, it should hopefully work to keep things dry and clean for at least the next year or two.

What else happened this week? Oh, we got the renewal on the lease, which I have to print out so we can sign it and initial all the pages, before returning it to the real-estate people. So I'll probably do the printing out today, and we can get all the signing and initialling done over the course of the next couple of days and hand the wretched thing in on Monday.

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